Sunday, August 2, 2009


It's so good to be back home. Seeing my girls and Jake for the first time in 3 weeks on Thursday was awesome. I cried - what else would you expect from me - Mrs. Emotional!!!!

The rest of the family finally made it home tonight. My sister-in-law, Ashley, and I cooked supper for our entire family tonight. Ryan, Ashley, and Brock moved here while we were in Minnesota! So this was our first "family meal" with everyone living in a 10 mile radius of each other. It was so fun coordinating the meal with Ashley.

What made tonight so special was how much fun we had. Not every family wants to live so close to each other, but I think God knew that we would need each other to lean on during this time. We don't plan on eating EVERY MEAL together, but it was really fun eating, laughing, and watching the kids entertain us all. Ryan & Ashley may not want to stay here too long if Brock keeps learning tricks from Addi - but it's so precious right now.

I just really love my family - and I'm so proud of my family. Today was also my parents 34th wedding anniversary!!! I'm so proud of my mom and dad - not just because they are my parents, but because of who they are to other people. They are so well respected in this community. I'm proud of my sister! She does her own thing in her own time and has no regrets at all!! And I'm so proud of Ryan and Ashley. Ryan is going to be a coach and I'm so happy that he'll get a chance to learn how here under a coach he admires and respects so much. And it's fun to have Ashley around, too! She's such a good mom and I love the way she loves my little brother. And I'm proud of Jake. He is around my family so much and he never complains! He rolls with the punches and takes part in the Bufe querkiness (not sure of the spelling here, but you get it!)

There's not much new and exciting to report - other than I have a wonderful family and it's great to have everyone back at home where they belong!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Next Day

Wow - what a difference 36 hours makes. One, Lori is much better. Two, I'm overwhelmed at the kind words of encouragement that have been sent my direction.

First, Lori is having much less pain. They drained over 10 lbs. of fluid off her abdomen yesterday afternoon. She came back to the room in noticeably less pain. Her eyes said it all. It was such a huge relief for mom and I to see her move comfortably from the transport bed into her own hospital bed.

When this journey started in mid-March, a dear friend in Abernathy told me that this would be a roller coaster. Well, I'm not a HUGE fan of them to begin with, but I don't mind riding them. But this emotional roller coaster is worse than any amusment park ride. At least with a ride, you know it will end. And you know roughly when it will end. Not with this emotional ride. You think you've gone as low as you can go, then you have a sudden incline. Unfortunately, the incline aren't very high right now. And they haven't seemed to last very long.

Though I don't enjoy this ride right now, I'm not ready for it to end yet. This is a roller coaster ride that I want to last for years and years to come. I'm just hoping that the ride becomes more of a Mini Mine Train (Six Flags) and less of The Rattler (Fiesta Texas).

Once again, I know that our family is not the only one to endure the horror of cancer. A) there are many positive outcomes with this disease. God is still in control and still in the business of performing miracles. But B) cancer sometimes wins and how do you deal with it if your family ends up on side B? We are still praying for and believing in option A. However, even with that option, there are still many ups and downs along the path.

Throughout this, I don't want to have blinders on. I don't want to focus only on our pain and the misery or joy that we are experiencing. There are many more around me daily who are experiencing their own joys or heartaches. Just because our experience is one way, doesn't mean someone else's is the same.

I know you can't experience something like this and not let it change you. I just want it to change me for the better. I want to be more aware of what those around me are going through and feeling. I don't want to become a negative person just because things around me aren't positive right now.

As a family, even though this has been a horrible thing, we try to find the blessings in each day. Some days, it's very hard to see. But on others, they come shining through brightly. When I wrote yesterday morning, the last 24 hours had been very hard to find any blessings in. Then yesterday afternoon things started looking up. Besides the blessing of Lori feeling better came the blessing of a chance to really re-connect with friends that I hadn't talked to in years.

Praying for continued good days and blessings!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Just my thoughts

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore - facebook has taken over. And really, I just haven't had time since mid-March to do anything.

Like I said, I don't know if anyone will see this or not, but it's a place for me to put down my thoughts where my mom and sister probably won't see them.

This nightmare began March 18th. There were good times in there, though, where life wasn't consumed by the face that Lori has cancer. We all thought that there would be a quick resolution to the cancer by way of a transplant. Two weeks ago, that dream was shot down. The cancer had spread to a lymph node next to the liver. The doctors are all very quick to say that it was a very small spot and that it's treatable, BUT there is no cure. Once cancer cells are in the lymph system, the outlook isn't good. They are planning to fight this as best they can, though. The plan is to control and contain the cancer and attempt to keep it from spreading.

So all that sounds doable. But once again, Lori doesn't do things the easy way. Not that she chooses to do things the hard way, that's just the way things work for Lori. We are now 13 days from surgery and back in the hospital. She's experiencing some complications from surgery. Their is a small blockage in the small intestine. My sister just can't catch a break. And she's in so much pain. I know it's hard to experience the pain, but it's awfully hard to watch her go through the pain. I just don't want her life to be spent in pain. Hopefully this will take care of the unbearable pain.

Then there's my parents. I have tried to put myself in their shoes. What if this were one of my daughters. I can't imagine. I would want to die in their place - or die with them. I couldn't do it. So I know they are hurting. There are times when they are ok - but the look in their eyes will never be the same again. I'll never forget as long as I live the look - or rather lack of one - in my mom's eyes as they wheeled her back from the pre-op area July 13th. My mother will never be "my mother" again. She is forever changed. She was going to have the awesome opportunity to save her daughter's life and that opportunity was taken from her. I don't know how you endure something like this without it changing you, but at the same time, I'm selfish when I say that I want my children to experience the fun-loving nana that they've known since they were born. I don't want to have to explain why things have changed so much.

But overall, I know that we are not the only family to have ever gone through this. My biggest question is, "How?". How do you go on? How do you keep living life so positively? How do you explain things to your young children? How do you care for your sister who's in pain? How do you comfort your parents? How? Those and many more are the questions that I don't have answers to right now - and may never has the answers for.

I also know God says He will never give us more than we can handle. But I have to admit, that I'm wondering how much more any of us can take.

Sunday, March 22, 2009


For the few of you still reading my blog (it's been too long since my last update)....

Lori is well - as well as she can be. She was diagnosed with Cholangial Carcinoma (Bile Duct Cancer) this week. We are very fortunate that we found it very early on. The plan is for her and my parents to go to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. It should be pretty soon; they are excited to have a young, otherwise healthy patient to test their "protocol" out on. Actually, they have a very good success rate. So we are optimistic about this.

Please keep Lori, my mom and dad, in your prayers. A website has been set up for anyone to log on to and get updates or leave messages for Lori or any of the family. You will have to register to become a member, then you can view her page.

Thanks for all the concern that has been shown and the prayers that have been offered.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

Wow - hard to believe it's 2009. Now that we don't write near as many checks thanks to debit cards, I'm sure it will be mid-July before I'm used to writing the date with '09.

We have had a wonderful Christmas vacation this year (not that other year's weren't, this one was just really good). Jake's mom and dad came in the Tuesday before Christmas and stayed until Saturday. We had a great visit with them and they got to spend their first Christmas Day with the girls.

Christmas Day was full!!! We started with Santa at home with Grandma and Grandpa Liess. Then after lunch, we went to my mom and dad's house. The Liess' joined us, so we had a full living room. This was my nephew's first Christmas and he was so cute!

After all the presents had been opened, there was no way you could convince me that the economy is sluggish! We had presents EVERYWHERE. And I can happily say it wasn't Jake & I that did all the shopping. We did a great job of sticking to our "budget". But both of our parents went above and beyond for our entire family - not just the girls. So yes, I enjoyed my Christmas gifts, too.

This week has been so nice to be able to chill out and not have a schedule. Jake did have to go back to work this week (he was off all last week), but has today and tomorrow plus the weekend off.

I do not like New Year's Resolutions, so I'm not going to bore anyone with the list of things that I know I will fail at. Though I know there are areas of life that can be improved upon, I really love the life I have!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

New Slideshow

Ok, so I finally decided it was time to update my slideshow on the sidebar. I tried to do this once back in the early fall, but couldn't get it to work with the pictures I wanted. Well, same problem this time around, only now I have access to the pictures I wanted to use back then! Oh, well. Enjoy these that are from last spring and maybe I'll figure out how to use the ones I want to that are more current.
My feeble attempts at understanding and using the world wide web...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Our Christmas Card to You

I'm cheating this year - and my pocketbook is thankful!!!

Merry Christmas everyone from the Liess Family!
Posted by Picasa